When Yelp Meets Wit: 30+ Restaurants Dishing Out Cold Retribution To Critics

If you enjoy the whole experience of dining out, then you probably got super frustrated once the pandemic hit and restaurants were shuttered for the foreseeable future! However, people learned how to cope quite quickly – food delivery services! Since then, the world has seen a boom in online food apps and delivery services. All we need is to do a couple of taps on our phone screen to get that delicious, steamy pizza or fresh salad delivered to our doorstep!

It goes without saying that whenever a service is involved, there are pages upon pages of customer reviews, especially in the food industry, and hey, we get it. The people want to know what is delicious and what is disgusting. However, people don’t exactly have the best intentions. However, whether they are lying, complaining, or acting clearly entitled, someone always has a way of putting them in their place. Here are lousy restaurant reviews with the best responses!

Half a pizza only

If you’re not the one dealing with them, confused customers can actually be quite amusing, especially when it comes to restaurants and food delivery in general! It’s very common to have people complain about food they don’t understand and make a fool of themselves online!

That’s exactly what happened here! Jenny ordered a calzone and then complained when she only got half of her “pizza.” The restaurant owner was quick to point out her mistake, though, which was super funny! Hopefully, Jenny learned something new today!

Say sorry, now

There is a reason why food delivery apps inform us how long it will take for the food to arrive at the customer’s house. The time, of course, is just an educated guess considering there could be all sorts of delays on the way there!

This concept was lost to Chad here, who decided to leave a bad review before his food even arrived! He could have probably tracked it if he wanted, but instead, he decided to complain, which led to this super funny reply from the restaurant owner. Apologize, Chad!

Lonely at the top

Oof, here is yet another reviewer who forgot to use a burner account. It is so easy to create a fake account, but for some reason, some people are still not doing it. Again, we are not condoning this behavior but come on!

The restaurant responded in a very classy manner. Unfortunately, when you’re the best, you have to deal with people trying to take you down. Perhaps if this guy spent more time trying to make his restaurant better and less time writing fake reviews, then he, too, would experience success.

The drunk customer

If you’re going to order your food in the middle of the night while being drunk, at least wait until it’s morning and you’re sober to leave your bad review! That’s just common courtesy, but some people seemed to have skipped this lesson in school!

Lily here, for example, couldn’t wait to leave a bad review. Unfortunately for her, her whole complaint became null because of it. Apparently, not only was she drunk when the food delivery driver arrived, but she was also throwing up outside! Ew!

Fish n’ chips

If you’re British or at least live in the UK, you’re probably aware of how seriously people take their fish and chips! And they’re not wrong to take it seriously – it’s one of the most famous dishes in the whole country, after all!

The thing with this review is we’re not really sure who’s in the wrong here. On one hand, there are a bunch of bad restaurants out there who wouldn’t hesitate to straight-up lie about the quality of their food. On the other one, bad customers are everywhere, and they also wouldn’t mind lying!

Low blow

Okay, we need you to take a deep breath before starting this one! Seriously, there won’t be any pauses for you to breathe once you start. You may just pass out in the middle of this long, poorly written review. Are you ready? Good, go ahead!

If you’ve managed to get here, then not only are you a survivor, but you’ve also witnessed how low people will go to undermine their competitors! They should really focus on their own business and stop worrying so much about others if they want to succeed!

No one’s home

There are some unspoken rules if you want to order food at your place. For example, it would be fantastic if you could give your address as detailed as possible, sure. But you also need to be there to pick up your order!

Ordering food and then going to sleep or leaving before it arrives is not only a waste of both yours and the driver’s time but a waste of money as well. Some places don’t offer refunds for these kinds of orders, and the employee wasted gas driving to your house!

Suspicious chicken

It’s funny. Humans are the smartest creatures on the planet, and we brag about being at the top of the food chain. Still, when we’re hungry, we’re always eating whatever’s in front of us first and asking questions later. That’s exactly what happened here!

Only after devouring something that was presented as chicken did Mike decide to question why the bird was so big and why its skin was so tough! The restaurant owner’s answer wasn’t enough to settle anyone’s nerves, though! That was no chicken, was it?

Everybody’s on edge

Like many things in life, there are two sides to customer service. On the one hand, no one likes being mistreated by the people being paid to serve them! On the other one, these people are also humans with their own feelings and thoughts, just like everybody else!

So, with that in mind, we are left with an impossible situation like the one above! On one side, a customer who doesn’t want to be mistreated by the delivery driver, and on the other, a tired, wet, and overall miserable worker who doesn’t want to be friendly! No one’s a winner here!

Wrong size

Have you ever heard the expression, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth”? This popular saying is about not questioning the quality of a gift you receive. It’s a gift, after all! Apparently, Abbey here never heard about this kind of courtesy, according to her review!

Quick lesson in manners: If you ask for a seven-inch pizza and get a ten-inch one, you don’t go around complaining about the toppings. Also, if you only paid £5 for your meal, you don’t get to complain about the taste or how upset the driver looked. Cheap food = cheap service!

Mamma mia

This may not surprise anyone, but it is yet another case of someone not being aware of what they were ordering! It’s amazing how this sort of thing keeps happening! Here, a mother ordered a margherita pizza. So far, so good, right? Well, wrong!

Apparently, the pizza was not up to her and her five-year-old standards! According to the mom, their pizza was nothing but tomato purée with cheese on top. As the owner of the restaurant reminded her, though, those are precisely the ingredients that go on a Margherita pizza!

Yuck

We have to admit; if we saw this fake review, we would definitely not eat at this place. There is nothing more horrendously disgusting than critters in food. Please keep the roaches, maggots, and flies far away from the kitchen. 

Thank goodness this was just another case of someone writing fake reviews. Sure, it’s annoying for the restaurant to have to deal with, but it is a lot better than dealing with the reality of having maggots in your kitchen. So gross!

Sorry, wrong number

Okay, folks, pay attention now because that’s something that not many people care about, but it’s important! Are you paying attention? Good! Now go and update your information in every food delivery app you have! Don’t ask questions, just go!

See? It didn’t take that long, and now you’ll never find yourself in the same situation as the person above! She left a bad review saying the driver simply delivered her food outside and didn’t knock, but the driver not only knocked but he also called. Her number wasn’t updated, though!

Boiled milkshake

When ordering fast food, it’s important to be familiar with the products they offer. No one wants to bite into a chicken burger instead of a beef one, right? The same thing goes for drinks and desserts! Customer Harry here, though, seemed to have missed this important memo!

Otherwise, why would he be complaining about his food being cold when all he ordered was a milkshake and a slice of cheesecake – famously cold dishes? The only explanation is that he somehow had no idea what those things were, to begin with!

Simply the worst

There is a reason why you shouldn’t be rude to the people who handle your food at a restaurant. It doesn’t matter if they are the ones cooking it or the ones serving it! You will regret your actions one way or another!

This is something the person above ended up learning the hard way! According to the owner, the duck was bad, yes, but it was only because the person who ordered it was an awful customer! Vengeance is a dish better served cold, right?

Budget constraints

Most adults are pretty good at using logic to figure out which establishments suit their budget. For example, we won’t be dining at a five-star restaurant if we know that we only have $20 to our name. It is just common sense. 

Well, sometimes people don’t understand this. Sometimes, people try to live way above their means, like this guy. He must have known that there was no way that one meal could feed four people. He was just trying his luck. 

Take it or leave it

Perhaps people don’t understand that restaurants offer a product and are allowed to set the price of that product. It is up to you whether you accept the offer or not. You can always choose another restaurant if you are not happy with the prices. 

This person was not only upset about the prices but also annoyed that the restaurant didn’t serve what she wanted them to serve. Maybe she should open her own restaurant if she wants to decide on the prices and products.

Alive, but at what cost

If you work in the service industry, you’re probably aware that bad customers run galore! Sometimes, they’re so present, it’s hard to remember there are good people out there! If there was an award for the worst customer, though, this one would probably take the cake!

From ordering their food literally two minutes before closing time to having out-of-date information on their profile and leaving a bad review after all the driver’s endeavors, this customer certainly checks most, if not all, boxes for the worst customer of the year!

Don’t you be a meany

For those of you who never heard about it, panini is not only a Lil Nas X song, but actually, a type of grilled sandwich usually made with Italian bread and other deli ingredients – like cheese and deli meat, for example!

How could this particular dish be boring is the big question here! Simple? Yes, absolutely! That’s the kind of dish a panini is, after all. But boring? Maybe the customer was expecting a musical one as the owner suggested, who knows!

Not-so-smart cookie

When ordering stuff online, it’s important to pay attention to where exactly your things are coming from. This is particularly important if what you’re getting is actually food! Otherwise, you’ll end up in a situation like the one below!

This confused person complained about her order not being up to her standards, but apparently, this particular item was never on the restaurant menu, to begin with! Parallel universes confirmed or just inattentive customers being rude again? We’ll never know!

Picky eater

There is a reason why it’s so important to introduce your kids to different kinds of food while they are growing up! If they don’t experiment around a little, they’ll end up as adult picky eaters! Do you really want to deal with that?

See, it’s okay if you don’t like certain dishes, and if you’re polite about it no one will bat an eye, but if you go around complaining about every single restaurant in town, at some point someone will catch up to you and your pickiness!

Not adding up

Look, if you’re going to lie and leave a false review, at least make sure that your story makes sense. Otherwise, you might end up like this reviewer who was caught out. The manager of this establishment should be a lawyer.

They are asking all the right questions, and we, too, would like to know how this story is even possible. We are cringing from the secondhand embarrassment. At this point, this reviewer should just go ahead and delete their account.

Wrong review session

Pizza toppings are the life of the pizza no matter how weird, and uncommon some of them may be! That’s why it’s important to pay attention to how much stuff you’re using. Otherwise, clients will complain and with reason!

What’s unreasonable, though, is leaving a bad review for a place that doesn’t serve pizza! Even worse, leaving a bad review for a place that’s not even a restaurant, to begin with! Pay attention to what you’re doing, people! The poor dogs!

Mic drop moment

It’s okay to not be familiar with every single culture around the world, especially if the culture in question is only prevalent halfway across the globe. What’s not okay is to try to lecture people of said culture about things they’re pretty much specialists about!

That’s exactly what happened here! Not only did this customer offend the restaurant owner, his wife, and his workers with their comment, but they also showed the world how ignorant they are! Thankfully, the owner quickly put this person back in their place!

George Complainer

Superstitious people say names are a powerful and important part of our being. We should be mindful when choosing our children’s names because of that. Some people don’t really believe in that, but in this case, it is pretty much the truth!

We’re pretty sure this guy’s surname is not really “Complainer,” but even the nicknames we choose to use online have power and represent us. So, when George here decided to leave a bad review online, the restaurant owner didn’t hesitate to use his nickname against himself!

Liar, liar

We’re not saying you should go around lying about stuff, but if you absolutely need to lie, as we said, make sure your story is consistent, otherwise, people will catch up to your antics in no time! The situation below is a great example of that!

The customer here complained his food wasn’t good enough. The spicy burger was not spicy at all, the chicken strips were too thin and small, and the fries were greasy and soggy. Apparently, though, this person had called earlier to complain his fries didn’t even arrive in the first place!

Dog-eat-dog World

Here is yet another liar who couldn’t keep their story straight. However, at least this one had a bit more creativity. The story has some details and seems like it could be believable. the only issue is that the person did not check the opening date of the restaurant.

Goodness, the restaurant business seems like a dog-eat-dog world. All these false reviews must be created by competitors. Who else would have the motive to make up lies like this? It’s brutal and will make us rethink the validity of any review we read from no one.

BAFTA Burger

No matter where you go or the people you meet, there are always going to be freeloaders just waiting to get what they want without spending a penny on it! As we all know, this also applies to fast food places, as we can see here!

Apparently, Shannon here didn’t feel like paying for her own food, so she decided to torment the poor fast-food workers instead! Unfortunately for her, the owner was aware of her lies and put her back in her place quickly!

Spoiled

We try very hard, but sometimes, it’s impossible to forget how rotten some people can be! If you work in customer service, you’re probably way too familiar with the kind of person Ethan here seems to be. We feel incredibly sorry for you!

There is a time and a place for everything, and asking for someone’s phone number while they’re at work is not only dumb but also rude. Not only that but reacting the way he did after getting politely rejected? That’s a no-no for us. Huge red flag!

Mr. Hyde

Unfortunately, there are bad people in every profession, and even doctors aren’t immune! It doesn’t matter how empathetic and selfless they have to be while on the clock. Under their scrubs, they’re still humans and prone to mistakes and bouts of bad attitude, just like everyone else!

Just take a look above, and you’ll understand! The customer used her position as an NHS doctor to get free extras, which the restaurant owners complied with, but then she went on to ask for a refund and left a bad review anyway! How can you get stuff for free and still complain? The nerve!

Video proof

There is a big reason why you should never drink if you can’t really handle it. Not only is it bad for your health and quite dangerous, but you’ll also probably end up making a fool out of yourself for everyone to see, just like the person below did!

According to them, they were refused food multiple times, and when their friend asked for more fries, they were tackled to the ground. Sure, maybe that happened, but restaurants don’t have to serve drunk people who were probably causing a ruckus, now do they?

Unfair review

As a customer, it is totally fine to leave a bad review if you didn’t enjoy the food or service provided by a restaurant. You need to be fair, though. Otherwise, you’ll just end up looking like a fool. And people will be quick to point it out.

That’s exactly what happened above! Apparently, five people went to this Indian restaurant and they all ate about eight different dishes – not including the starters and a duck – but still left a one-star review over some salty curry!

Piping hot, lovey

There is a reason why it is important to stay awake and wait for your food delivery if you want to eat it as fresh and warm as possible! Apparently, Imogen here never heard of this concept before, because as soon as she order her food, she went to bed!

Now, if what the owner says is the truth, then we know exactly who’s at fault here, and it definitely is not the restaurant! If you’re asleep, things will go cold, and not everyone like microwaved food! If that’s you, just stay awake!

Love Island

Everybody knows what kebab is! If you don’t, well, it is basically marinated lamb meat cooked with vegetables and served on a skewer. It’s delicious and hard to mess up! According to this customer, though, this restaurant did just that!

Unfortunately for her, the restaurant owner was quick to dismiss her comments about the food having “no love.” Not only that, but they explained that serving it with too many veggies would make it cold faster. Who do you think is in the right here?

Crybaby

Anyone who has ever worked in customer service can tell you just how cursed some people can be! From complaining to the manager for even the slightest mistake all the way to physically attacking workers, customer service employees have seen them all!

Sometimes, though, customers are actually in the right! Unbelievable, we know, but it happens! That’s definitely the case here! We don’t know about you, but if a restaurant owner called us a crybaby, we wouldn’t be coming back either.

Revenge

What is that saying: hell has no fury like an ex-employee scorned. Isn’t that how it goes? This employee decided to wreak havoc after being let go from his job. And we must say, just because the information comes from someone who is vengeful doesn’t mean it isn’t true. 

In fact, this information might be more reliable because this employee knows exactly what happens behind the scenes. He revealed all of this establishment’s little secrets. Residents of Miami, take note. This guy has given you a fair warning—it’s best to avoid this restaurant. 

Meant to be

Right, there is so much to unpack here. In what world does someone think it is okay to lick something and put it back so it can be sold to some other unsuspecting customer? This reminds us of those kids who went viral for licking an ice cream tub and putting it back in the shop freezer. 

This, folks, is why diseases spread so easily. We think the shop handled this situation rather well, especially considering the fact that his wife left a bad review. It is safe to say that these strange people deserve each other.

Bad ex-employee

Harmony is one of the most important things to have in the workplace no matter what your job is! Unfortunately, this is not something people usually seek out when it comes to employer and employee relationships, as we can clearly see below!

Jane here was fired after showing up to work multiple times under the influence and as a vengeful act, she went ahead and left a false bad review! The owner was quick to call her out, though, probably because she forgot to change to another account with a different name!

Hi neighbor

We knew it! We knew that all of these fake reviews were written by competitors trying to bring their rivals down. However, we don’t understand why a jewelry shop and a restaurant would see each other as competitors. They sell different things. 

Also, it might be wise for this jewelry shop to use a burner account the next time they want to create fake reviews. Now the restaurant knows of their dirty tricks. It will make being neighbors very awkward. At this point, the only way forward is for one of these shops to move.

COVID palate

There are a few boxes that need to be checked in order for us to have a great experience eating out. Sure, the food needs to be tasty, but the restaurant must be clean, and the staff needs to be nice! This place checked many of those boxes, except for one!

Apparently, the food was bland. If Gordon Ramsey has taught us anything, it is an indefensible crime! The owner had other ideas about why the customer couldn’t taste anything. However, he has a point and may not be entirely wrong!