Overly Ambitious Dishes That Should Never Emerge From The KitchenBy Farah J
Presentation of food on a platter is all about making food look delicious and photogenic, right? Sure, this is a puns world, but it looks like some “cooks” took the food puns a little too literal. Hipsters or not, some cooks did a hilariously amazing job at taking the presentation of their specials way too far. They must have left their customers’ mouths hanging wide open. Not because of the perfection, no. More like because of cringe or confusion. Yes, these seem like the right words for it. Foodies sharing some hilarious and pretentious food dishes has us cackling. Despite their weird looks, some of these dishes do taste amazing. But people sure do have a lot to say about their “artwork!”
Coffee cone with a “shot of espresso”
Have you ever seen a cone having a shot? Well, now you do. This side-truck ice-cream seller sure has a lot of guts to sell his coffee ice-cream…on a doughnut cone…with an actual syringe…full of caramel…poking out of it!
We only have one thing to say: this coffee-espresso cone on a doughnut with caramel round seems weirdly intriguing to us. And by the looks of this picture, coffee cone lovers may, well, “shoot” to have this unique cone!
“Cheeseburger cups” recipe
Whoever decided to make these burgers took this recipe very, very seriously. When we imagine a burger in a cup, this guy somehow went to drastic lengths to make our imagination come true. Like, no, thanks, we take it back!
For some reason, this picture of a seemingly highly delicious cheeseburger in a freaking cup is making us aggressive! Is the cook torturing us? He wants us to, what, drink a cheeseburger? This person should be banned from the kitchen.
A muffin with a “handful” of jam, please
Imagine: it’s your birthday, you went to a fancy restaurant and ordered a muffin with a handful of jam. Now imagine, after waiting for 20 minutes, the waiter serves you with a pretty muffin and…this! A “hand full of jam!”
Yes, we are confused, too! This chic restaurant presentation may have either left you confused, cringing over the jam-hand, or rolling over the floor, cackling. All of them are weirdly appropriate reactions after realizing the pun behind it, but it’s not something to be excited about, that’s for sure.
Blue cheese pizza or blue cheese pizza?
We know what you’re thinking; The same as this guy. We kind of got sidetracked by the name implication too. Confused as we are, this guy definitely misunderstood the assignment of impressing her date with her favorite pizza flavor.
The look on the guy’s date’s face must have been worth looking at after seeing the “smurf” pizza in front of her. We don’t know what to call it: his honest innocence or pressure of making a good impression on his date!
We don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this groan-worthy dad joke! When you’re sad and broke, and unfortunately decide to order a single dish of plain rice…this is what we get? A freaking “plane” rice? What was this chef thinking?
We’d like to believe that the staff was only trying to lift the customer’s spirits and make their day by merging the dad joke… with a food pun! Well, that sincerely wasn’t a bad choice of humor right there, but we would probably send that back.
Crunchy or gooey?
So…McChickream? Or is it McIcecken? Is it ultra spicy or chocolate-chip flavored? Do we bite the ice cream with our bare teeth or lick the spices and crunchy bits off of chicken drumstick? We have a lot of questions!
Then again, when mom says, “you won’t know it until you try it!” We are willing to believe that it won’t taste as bad as the confusion it is creating. And honestly, the covering of the “dish” is not helping either.
Fish in tacos or tacos in fish?
Okay, this is it! This person just got his toe out of line. Like, tacos…in the mouth of a fish! It doesn’t seem like an honest recipe-gone-wrong mistake, though. We demand justice for the fish! And the tacos! They are good just the way they are!
Who will tell this person that in the recipe of fish tacos, fish is supposed to be “in” the tacos, not out! But more importantly, we are curious about one thing: what circumstances lead them to execute this heinous crime?
We want a stuffed crust …
When hunger takes over our brain, and we forget to place the complete food order. “We want a stuffed crust,”… and imagine the restaurant staff receiving this and be like, “Hey, they want a stuffed crust,” and be on their way.
Not realizing after it’s too late. And above that, the person on the other side of the door doesn’t seem very intellectual, either. Or maybe they’re just trying to be funny! Well, at least they made sure you know what’s inside the box!
Lobster chunky ice cream
Before we go judging people of their creative food masterpieces, we would like to say… “What the fudge you were thinking?!” Why the lobster? Why not just go with nuts to make your ice cream chunky and an out-selling dish of the year?
By the looks of the description of the ice cream wrapper, the creator of what we would call “a painful snack” seems rather proud of what they have created, too. Just an opinion, lobster-flavored ice cream would have worked fine!
Chocolate bagel…before or after eating?
Is it only us, or did the “chocolate bagel with peanut butter” recipe go wrong here? And the cook seemed oblivious of this obvious fact and had the guts to call it “happiness?” No judgment, only facts here.
Is anyone going to tell them, or should we? We are still confused about how this could be a picture of the food before it’s been eaten. Because it seriously looks like the results of ingested food…*cough* no sh** *cough*
Is this even edible?
This picture of a platter at a fancy restaurant is making us question our entire life. We are not sure what to comment on this eerily confusing picture of what they calling as “food.” Like, you mean, it’s eatable?
When we read about mermaids and mermen having a feast at the bottom of the ocean in fairytales, this must be their daily menu. Because, honestly, that is the only understandable explanation that makes sense to our little, conservative minds.
This picture of a “deep-fried chicken fettuccini Alfredo burrito wraps” is annoyingly mouth-watering. To us, it is like a baby born from Italian and Mexican parents. Okay, this is a weird comparison, but we get the picture.
This combination seems like an American thing; it doesn’t make sense, but everyone is willing to try it. We would even say that this is a US appreciation post. One request: just don’t make us regret eating this!
This is a simple and straightforward cut “we are broke, but we love Thanksgiving” thing, so don’t judge us. This picture of a carved-out turkey from a can of turkey truly shows the person’s devotion towards his mission.
We relate to this person on a very personal level. We are not going to dare to pretend that we won’t do the same thing if we could buy a can of turkey. Bravo to this accomplishment, our new best friend!
Fries for the escape!
We all have heard how sleeping in is the best way to escape reality. Well, it seems like there is a competitor: New York’s Escape-from-Reality Organic Fries”. So, apparently, these organic fries offer us an “escape from reality” for just $200!
The looks of these fries don’t give off a “worth it” vibe. Also, we need to add this very valid point: like now we’ve got to pay to escape from reality when we can simply do it for free while sleeping?
First things first: potato rocks! Oh, but wait, we don’t mean it as literal as this guy here who took the photo. Painting potatoes as rocks is one way to show their love for them. A dad joke on the next level!
Well, we got to say that they did a pretty amazing job with the painting, though. We just hope that nobody pranks the foodies and other potato-pun lovers by placing actual solid rocks in their place! That would be cruel.
Sushi in a croissant
We have another example of merging of two polar opposite cultures right here, folks. When you are a Japanese person living in France, what would you say to this? Well, we’ve got to do what we got to do to eat our national treasure in a different continent.
Croissant wrapped around a ball of sushi doesn’t sound so depressing; it’s like our two favorites in one. The only thing that is bothering us is the sweet and salty combination. It sounds a little “fishy” and strange, don’t you think?
America, in other countries
Pizza, burger, hotdogs. The full description of America is in three words. And hilariously, we are not the only ones who think like that! Switzerland even created an “American” food product and named it as such! Such a brave move!
And frankly, the three-in-one combo gives off a very delicious vibe. We are pretty sure the sales of this product will shoot to the top in the first week of its marketing. Well, see you in Switzerland!
“The Lovely Bones”?
We did not think that ordering a mac-sized beef burger comes with a whole buffalo inside it…with bones and all! Sure, we love buffaloes, but we’d genuinely like our burger restaurants to reanalyze our order for a beef burger next time!
Like, having a whole rib section in burgers with bones poking out of it is not how “beef burgers” work, dude! Even if they are freshly cooked and grilled. No, sir! We don’t want an increased bone count in our bodies.
Delicious sushi pancakes
Okay, who would’ve thought that they would get to see maple syrup, honey, and fruit get replaced by sushi and its toppings on a freaking pancake in their lives?! Who came up with this idea. We want to talk to the manager!
The toppings, syrups, and presentation are pretty tempting and appealing to the eyes, though…a total manipulation strategy. But, yes, we’ll try it. Not because of the combo idea. It’s just pretty. That’s all. However, we don’t have high hopes.
The “killing” sushi roll
The level of cruelty is evident in this picture. Whoever has had wasabi or horseradish in their lives, raise your hands if you can feel the burning sensations in your nostrils, and you’re throat-clearing just by looking at this picture!
The sushi roll is determined to kill us only with a grain of rice. Imagine our death certificate after eating this. It would say something along the lines of, “The person was found dead with their nose on fire, and a single grain of rice being the cause of it!”
The idea of banana water might seem like a weird lightbulb moment for anyone who has ever squeezed a banana and seen absolutely no juice whatsoever come out of it. We believe the inventor was a Megamind! Seriously, though, who is actually into this?
Either the person hated water and loved bananas or vice versa because there was no intellectual reason to dump bananas in the water! Or maybe the mad scientist was trying to be healthy by flicking two birds with one stone!
When we’re out of silverware
This picture is the description of our mothers saying, “Hey, bring out the fancy silverware, guests are coming over.” And we shoot for the tesla coils and physics science-fair equipment because we can’t find the fancy silverware sets in the drawer.
The restaurants in 2021 are doing the same thing where the staff is out of stock of all the fancy sets. Or maybe it’s a trend going on with the electromagnetic tesla that we don’t know about? Who can keep up these days!
Apple pie tower
Grandma’s ancient apple pies with secret ingredients; we are fond of those heavenly dishes, like it was our childhood, guys. Deciding to reinvent the traditional way of making apple pies is a crime. Whoever messes those up messes with us!
Apart from a little emotional, dramatic scene, we can’t help but give it a shot. This caramel towered stuffed apple pie seems quite mouth-watery. Besides, a little birdie told us that it’s Oprah’s favorite? Well, who can resist it now?
Another example of when we’re too broke to buy a human snack, so we steal some of our cats. Hope our cat doesn’t mind and shows us a little pity and sympathy for our broke existence. What are we saying! It’s the cats we’re talking about!
To the person eating a so-called snack, a literal mixture of corn and cat food, are you okay for actually thinking of making it, enjoying it in front of the TV, and…calling it tasty? We hope it gets better for you.
When we say, “We love ice cream shakes,” we certainly don’t mean it like this! Not an ice-cream cone sticking out of the shake! Whoever has told this person that her shake was freaky, thank you for your service.
Ice-cream sitting at the top of the glass filled with a shake, with a cone poking out, is not our top choice at all. Honestly, though, it looks delicious, especially in summer we would mortgage our kidney to have this as kids.
We believe this person was either high on peanut butter or was simply having a bad day because nothing whatsoever makes a good, understandable, and reasonable explanation as to why this person would make a “tri-wich” instead of a “sandwich.”
Regardless of his choice of the description of his invention, this made a quite funny dad joke. Although we have two questions for this inventor: “How do we eat this masterpiece? Which side do we grab, and which side do we eat first?”
Lady Gaga curry
Who doesn’t love Lady Gaga and her amazing music album Chromatica? But this is a whole other level of fangirling right here. The Italians who made a top-notch Chromatica curry, and to the fan who sincerely decided to eat this, wow!
The luscious pink curry with white rice does not seem as appealing as the Lady Gaga or her outselling album. But from a fan to a fan eating this, we would like to look at you enjoy the Chromatica Limited Edition Curry.
We have heard of chocolate cake, plain cake, strawberry velvet cake, mango, pineapple, whatever cakes. But what the chocolate fudge is an egg cake? Isn’t egg supposed to be an ingredient like flour and baking powder? Is it not supposed to be the main cake?
Maybe this is what is made when we are craving home-baked cake, but all we have is the flour and the eggs. So we decide to have faith in the Universe that it tastes as good as the amount of protein in it.
Beef went blue
Just seeing this picture made us turn blue. Seriously! Leave beef patties alone, please! Why ruin our burgers with the taste of blueberries in them? The idea of mixing maple, blueberries, and beef to make a beef patty makes us blue!
The advertisement seems so innocent, as if the maker thought a blueberry flavored beef burger would make us moan and dance in joy and not double over in a toilet bowl just by thinking of having it in our lunch.
Okay, pick one monstrosity out of four horrible ones: a cheesy chocolate chip cookie and beef sandwich, banana and ham cake with hollandaise sauce, a much fruity cake with avocados and pickles, and chunky clam-flavored ice cream. It’s a hard choice, right?
We are having a hard time choosing the biggest of monstrosities out of these four. We aren’t sure which one takes the top because these all seem to like their makers were in competition with each other for being the worst!
We aren’t sure how to take Texas seriously. This picture of Texas Tenderloin Sandwich is giving us a hard time to decide if this is an actual meal or they are just messing with our heads. It better be the latter.
We are no professional chefs or five-star restaurant owners, but we know this one basic food thing that reflects human decency: get the sandwich buns and stuffing the exact size of the tenderloin, please! This is bringing our OCD-ic tendencies out.
Zero waste journey
We are as much impressed as we are shocked at the bravery of this person. Drinking pasta coffee is one heck of a move! Climate change activists would be so proud of her and her sincere honesty in reducing her carbon footprint.
With her going down a “Zero waste journey” lane, we are compelled to do the same for our environment. But honestly, we are too coward to pour pasta water in our beloved latte and drink that horrible medicine every morning.
Butter knife out of butter
When puns were invented, food puns should’ve been restricted to the public because things like this happen when they get out of control. This person has too much time on their hands, and we can’t even begin to relate!
We don’t know what this person was thinking, but they sure seemed devoted enough to carve out a butter knife…out of butter…with a butter knife! They probably were going for the easy way to spread butter on the bread slice.
Trump’s Border Wall
People can be hilarious with their creativity sometimes that it’s hard to hold back our tears. This restaurant making a huge pizza, half Mexican and half American, just to dis the idea of Trump’s border wall idea, is a power move!
The Mexican half is on the Mexican side, and the bacon and cheese half, which is America’s popularity being on Trump’s side, is separated by Mozzarella’s sticks! The question is, who gets the delicious mozzarella sticks and who pays for them?
Pizza pizza pizza!
We demand to know who settled on the idea that mini pizzas’ topping over a regular slice of pizza would be a good idea. Respectfully, we’d like to bring this person in front of the jury in the court of pizza lovers.
It is no secret that we are going to be among that jury. And we are not ashamed to say that we are going to vote in favor of this person! Regardless of its ridiculous looks, pizza is pizza; the more, the merrier!
Are we allowed to present our criticism towards this “monster-osity”? Get it? “Monster” drink? We can create puns, too, you know. But you’ve got to agree that our puns are not lame and groan-worthy as this next food invention.
The Karen who did this does not get memes when she sees one, for sure. And we are absolutely in favor of this person tweeting this: this, surely, is a cursed country… Oh, sorry, a cursed flavor. Our bad.
Deconstructed Greek salad
Okay, now we know how to build a bear in Build-a-Bear, or create a tower out of Legos, or simply build a fort out of all the pillows in the house. But this is not the thing we are paying for, no sir!
We are protesting against this crime: we are not here to pay for the food that we have to assemble ourselves at your fancy restaurant. If we wanted to make our own, we would’ve stayed at home and made mac n’ cheese!
We have a lot of questions regarding this one: how did the person get the noodles to curve into tacos’ shape without breaking it? Why top it with beef stroganoff and eggs? How and why does it at all?
Besides the outrageous combination, the stuffing and topping, whatever you call it, seems quite delicious. Although, the look of noodles says an entirely different thing. Maybe we’ll later eat it with a fork in a bowl. We can’t be too careful.
Okay, we’ve heard of dessert pizza and fruity pizza before, but this is a whole new level of yuck! The ingredients of this pizza include a delightful (not) combo of banana, cinnamon, mozzarella, and…condensed milk. Never heard of this one before.
Our whole body is churning in horror and disgust just thinking about it. The thing we can guarantee is that if you ordered this pizza on your first date, your date will running out of the door before you can say, “hi.”
Waffles’ failed combos
One good thing plus another good thing…does NOT always equal a third good thing! People, keep that in mind. Waffles plus pasta sauce are good parents, but they won’t birth a good child! Why can’t you understand that?
To the person who tried this: was it worth it? Was it worth wasting the waffles over? Wasting the pasta sauce over? If so, how? Because our little minds are struggling to understand this combination. Enlighten us with your theory.
Gummy bear stuffing
Ah yes, the perfect foundation for all of our favorite gummy bear dishes, like meatloaf with gummy bear insides, or perhaps some delicious spaghetti and meatballs with multi flavored gummy bears poking out of them! Put this one on record under: “Why, though?”
There is only one thing for us to say, “Leave the gummy bears alone!” The sausage pork with gummy bears stuffed inside them seems like a crime: imagine having a hot dog and a grape-flavored gummy bear squishes under your teeth…
Quick morning breakfast
Ever slept in so late in the morning that you decided to pour your orange juice in the bowl full of cereal crackers, fruit, and berries and skip the milk, like this weird person? Just to save time to make sure they get all their nutrients?
Because you don’t have time to eat the whole cereal, and drink orange juice after, like a normal person? Yes, we thought so. Well, on the bright side…wait, there is no bright side to this!
Let’s just agree that this one looks like it tastes as amazing as it looks. Granted, we have never thought of creating a meal that involves Italian pasta in a sandwich. But, we’re willing to try it before kicking it to the curb.
Out of the above 50 ridiculously pretentious dishes, we believe this one will probably get a chance in life. Although it does seem like an awkward combination, it’s a pretty satisfying picture, and yes, we’re judging it based on that.